Domestic violence has been trending a while in Nigeria, with recent reports of it plaguing the homes of some of the notable Nigerian celebrities. So, it is not surprising that a lot of the celebrities are commenting on the issue.
Actor, Yul Edochie gave echoed his thoughts on this subject, where he used his parents as case study. His views on the subject is a common view in our culture, where most Nigerian men and women think that the only way to prevent violence in the home, is if the woman Shuts her mouth. No matter what the man does, she is meant to keep quiet and overlook his wrongs.
Where your husband can choose to leave the home, and come back whenever he pleases and the wife is supposed to Zip up and not question him because according to Mr Yul, the man is paying the bills in HIS house and we are Africans. They are always quick to pull out the “we are Africans” card when it comes to subjugating women. This is not 1920, and we know that in most homes both the husband and wife now contribute financially to the running of the household.
When you hear someone say, “i don’t support domestic violence, but”…, just know that the person is about to spew trash, which was exactly what Yul did.
“I have heard of issues of domestic violence a lot these days, and I am not in support of that, I would never support it. A man should not hit a woman, no matter what. But at the same time, women also have a very big role to play in making sure that these things don’t happen. That’s respect; respect your husband, no matter what. See, we are Africans; things are quite different around here. You should respect your husband, even if he doesn’t know what he is doing. Respect him. Right?”
I was listening to a friend of mine yesterday, a lady; she was having issues with her husband, she said, “I was arguing with my husband and he told me to sit down and me too I told him to sit down. He told me to shut up and I replied that he, too, should shut up”. I (Yul) said did you really tell your husband that? She said, ‘yes’. “Every time he comes back late at night, I told him, the next time you come back late at again, I will lock the door and you will sleep outside”, she said.
I told her, “You told your husband, a man who pays the bills in his house, he will sleep outside? My hand no dey o.”
He made reference to his childhood experience with his parents saying, “My father never hit my mum for my one day, all the years I lived with them as a kid. Not just because my father is a gentleman but because my mom always knew when to ZIP UP. In the midst of all the arguments, anytime my father’s voice goes up, my mom’s voice would go down and out”
Mr adviser, Yul Edochie, a man who craves for respect must also respect his wife. It is a mutual thing, it is not a man thing. It is not one sided. Men are not demi-gods that women would have to cower and bow to, even when they (men) do wrong. Respect is earned, you cannot be irresponsible and expect your wife to respect you. This is reality and not Nollywood. You come on the internet and tell the whole world, your Mom was a doormat to your Dad and you say that’s how all women should behave; YOU LIE!!
If a man is angry and his voice goes up during an argument and the wife is expected to bring her voice down, then when the woman gets angry and her voice goes up, the man’s voice should go low and out as well.
If a man can tell a woman shut up and sit down why can’t the woman tell him the same? If he doesn’t want to be spoken to like that then he should not speak to the wife that way, shikena.
Maybe you are the one who needs to ZIP UP and stop spewing rubbish!