When I get into conversations with my Naija peeps about the way I see God now, I am tagged an atheist.
What I say is; “I believe that there is a God, a supreme being, one who made us but does not get involved with the affairs of the Universe”, all they hear is me saying, I do not believe in God. Now, there is nothing wrong with being an Atheist, but I am not one.
I still believe there is a God, but not in the way I have been taught to believe, growing up as a little girl.
The God I know now, is not the one who chose to create me as an afterthought. He is not the sexist one, who chose never to pass his doctrines and messages through women. The one who did not make me inferior to a man and expect me to submit to the dominance of MEN; To keep quiet and be voiceless in the presence of men.
He is not the one who sees me as the bearer of the original sin, blamed for the fall of man; Not the one who says, he has given me freewill, but then does everything according to his will.
They say, “he gives and he takes”, but he is not the one who would cause me so much pain by taking my mother from me, untimely, when we had so much planned for the future.
I do not see him as the one who has the all powers to stop all the suffering and pain in the world but chooses to sit back on his throne, look down on us and turn a blind eye.
I have chosen to believe that he made us and does not interfere with the affairs of the world. I choose to believe this because, if he had all the powers to take away all the suffering and pain in the world, but he chooses not to, then he is a wicked and a mean God.
So, I sleep better thinking of him my way.