I was standing, with my trolley waiting for the elevator. There were other people waiting too. Then a couple joins us just as the lift was opening. This man, not minding that he met people waiting at the elevator started rushing and pushing his trolley to go in ahead of others that he met waiting there. Another couple who was there before this man gave him the look, like really? Then, the wife whispers to him in a low voice;
Wife: “you met these people waiting here waiting for the lift, why do you want to rush in before them.
Husband: “Na dem get the lift?” (do they own the lift?)
Wife: Like really? Instead of you to say something like I’m sorry I didn’t realise, or you weren’t thinking for a second; you are asking na them get the lift? Seriously?
Husband: you have started nagging. Must you nag about everything?
I stood there, and I wondered how this woman trying to correct the man (who was obviously wrong) was thought to be nagging. Because she criticized his behaviour, she was labelled a nag.
Men are always quick to say women nag. Asking or reminding the man for anything at all more than once, regardless of whether the request is reasonable or not makes us nags. When you call a woman a nag, you are trying to silence her.
I usually have to tell my husband to fix or do something, like a thousand times before it gets done, (sometimes, i even end up doing it myself), but that is not without him calling me a nag. Hey, if you had done it when I asked, I wouldn’t need to nag you, would I?
Nagging is “the interaction in which one person repeatedly makes a request, the other person repeatedly ignores it, and both become increasingly annoyed”. Thus, nagging is a form of persistent persuasion that is more repetitive than aggressive, and it is an interaction to which each party contributes- (Wikipedia).
You see all those things that you say your wife nags about? Why don’t you stop doing it and see if it won’t make any difference? You keep doing the same things she always complains about and you label her a nag. What then do we call you that have refused to work on the things she is complaining about? There really should be a name for the person who causes someone to nag.
Dear women, if you are asking for something reasonable to get done, and it’s being ignored, don’t let the fear of being called a nag stop you from asking for it.
Dear men, when a woman keeps bringing something up, it is because it is important to her and because you are not moving your butt to get it resolved. The next time you want to call your wife a nag, just remember that it is an interaction to which each party contributes.